On dealing with invalidation...

 min read
April 13, 2022

We must all remember that other people’s opinions of us are not facts. That is, when someone attempts to invalidate who you are, it doesn’t actually mean you are invalid. It means a whole lot about that person, their character, their insecurities & fears, their views of the world… It does not mean anything about who you are. This does not mean you can’t feel upset about it. Of course it hurts–and I encourage you to validate this anger and pain. But you must also remind yourself that their words and their invalidation do not reflect your character. Do not use their words as weapons against yourself. Tend to the wounds, validate your pain, but do not pick up their weapons and use them on yourself.

In order to combat invalidation, spend time actively affirming yourself to place a different voice in your head space. I always encourage folks to write affirmation lists for themselves. See below for inspiration.

Example of Affirmation List for LGBTQ+ Folks:

  1. I know who I am even if my parents invalidate me.
  2. I know who I am even if my coworkers/boss invalidate me.
  3. I am enough, regardless of others’ views of me.
  4. I am allowed to and capable of knowing who I am, no matter my age.
  5. My sexuality is valid. My gender identity is valid. Regardless of my family members’ opinion of it.
  6. For quarantine specific: COVID-19 will pass, eventually. I will not be stuck in this house/home/place forever.
  7. I am worthy of love even if my parents/family do not show me this.
  8. I belong in this world.
  9. Social distancing does not mean I am truly alone.
  10. I am resilient. I will get through this.

See more about this ideology in this post: